You are your own refuge!

“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

 Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin, like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

 Do you ever feel already buried deep, six feet under scream, but no one seems to hear a thing?”

I want to say that at some point in time we all relate to that feeling. But I also know that it might not be entirely true. Also coz I know I am an introvert and Katy Perry just struck the right chords for us in those lines!

I am the kind of an introvert who use to love to socialize – the ‘social butterfly’, as they say! But with age, I have learned to accept my traits and not be apologetic towards them. Of Course, I still have my share of struggles.

Small talk is still so very tedious for me, but I tend to enjoy long deep conversations!

But again, voicing my opinion is exasperating at first. But once you break the ice, I will be like an open book! So there, you see, all signs of a typical weird ass Introvert!

And I shit you not – out of sheer experience of being an introvert, one of the biggest challenges that I face is to stand up for myself! Let alone voicing out my opinions in open. I am not sure what exactly paralyzes my brain during such moments, but it sure does happen.

The question on acknowledging one’s identity starts taking a toll on oneself when he/she is matured enough to handle his/her life, yet that person is not seen in the same light by others. This is one way to look at it. But for an introvert like me, it becomes a different level of war altogether.

What’s even more frustrating is that it’s difficult to explain ourselves to anyone. Till they like really reach out to us and beg for the explanation. Also, that never happens!

Even if we do gather the courage to speak up, we just blurt it all out in the most weirdest & cruelest manner that it creates such a negative impact, which we( the introverts), within our heads, were afraid to make!

So basically, we end up feeling even more frustrated coz (a) We just made a fool outta ourselves by projecting to this world “How to be the Vicious Biatch” instead of a simple “Hey, this is what I feel..; and (b) Nobody gets us! Its like case gets closed even before the news is out!

And all this coz we are just trying to save our identity from getting diminished.

**I could so imagine, right now, all my fellow introvert friends be like –  “I feel you, brother!”**

Well, to be honest, I too feel ya’ll! But you see, the way I am dealing with it is acknowledging myself to myself! Processing my thoughts within first. Thinking, and then re-thinking and then re-re-re-thinking about it and telling myself that its ok! And then, finally practicing and working towards it. There’s no easy way out of it, we have to push ourselves!

And it works! Bit by bit, you tend to improve at speaking your mind out without feeling guilty about it and without blurting out the green stinking fire!

I have been fortunate enough to have & have met kind-hearted souls in my life who are helping me become a better version of myself! And I hope, for all my introvert friends, they too, shall find one such person! Be it in any form, shape or kind! 😊

May you find the courage to stand up for yourself– “Coz baby you’re a Firework!”